People From Cali Can’t Handle Dayton

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At one point in a College Boy’s career, the thought of, man my life is in shambles right now, I need to slow down and get off of this bender, runs through their mind. Its natural, being a free-spirited CB means you are going to have your good nights and bad, here at UD. I came across this write-up on a girl from Cali who decided to leave the land of the Mega-Bro’s (Cali) and make the trek to the holy land of The University of Dayton. What you are about to read is hilarious, but at the same time I feel a bit shitty for writing this, but not really. The excerpt is from the Cali Broad’s Mom, and the entire story is entitled, A Nightmarish Experience at an Ohio University, and can be read in its entirity after clicking the link. Check this out: 

….She was able to get into every school in California that she applied too! She chose to attend the University of Dayton, Ohio. She picked this school because she wanted to go to a well attended university outside of California.

She didn’t know a soul in Ohio! She was placed in a quad room( 4 people) in freshmen dorms. She had done all she could to prepare her self for her new roommates. They talked on the phone, corresponded through Facebook, etc., but  nothing could have prepared her for the experience that was to follow. The first week, they had boys staying the night, partying all night long, blaring the TV and music. The final straw was a boy urinating on my daughters bed! The roommates stated wasn’t their problem!

Oh, No! Not College Boys staying the night on Welcome Weekend! Not Partying all night! But worst of all, Blaring the TV?! Whoever these roommates of this girl were are wild animals! Welcome to College Mom. It is a shame at the end of the day, that this Cali Broad couldn’t hang-10 here at UD, but in all honesty, the reputation of UD does include wild nights with great people. The final straw, gets me every-time I read it. This girl must have not been a Johnny Tsunami Type Cali-Kid, because we all know if a CB is to urinate on or around something other than a toilet or the side-yard of a Ghetto Party, their is more than a valid justification behind his decision. I picture the First Year CB getting a pretty good College Boy laugh with all his CB’s, after he finished turning her mattress into a water bed,  as they yuk it up on their way out the dorms to Bargo’s.

Eventually, after 3 different sets of roommates her Freshman year (yikes,)  our anti-Flyer Female headed back to Cali to attend a JUCO.But Hey, atleast she gave it “The Ol’ College Boy Try.” I think I speak for all CB’s when I say this, cheers to you Ms. Party Pooping California Girl. Enjoy your local Community College, I sure didn’t, not even a comparison to the place I call home, UD.

-@kDuggyy “JUCO Grad, Associates Degree in Science, 2011″

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